My best friend sent me this tutorial of her doing her eyebrows and I thought you all would find it useful xoxo
this is amazing
it bothers me that Kansas and Arkansas are not pronounced the same
I’m from the UK and I have been pronouncing Arkansas as Ar-Kansas my whole life
For all my non-american friends, Arkansas is pronounced ark-an-saw
Imagine being pregnant in new york
and your husband gets a cab for you and you’re rushing to the hospital when
"wELCOME TO THE CASH CAB"
when you see a fine booty in the street but you are with your parents
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
is this what having a penis is like
LITERALLY MY FAVORITE